Who Says Big Can’t Be Beautiful?

Ah, those size-zero ladies, with their sternums and clavicles and harshly sweeping cheekbones and big, big vulnerable eyes and sharply delineated wrists (set off to perfection by an oversized man’s watch and a clutch of chunky bracelets) — they were fun for a while, in a car-crashy kind of way, weren’t they? All that gossip and bitchery. But they weren’t very … sexy. You couldn’t imagine shoving Nicole Richie up against a wall and doing naughty things to her, could you? She would break. Nope, those skinny little wenches may be good at dangling Chanel handbags from delicate fingers, but they don’t do so well at inspiring lasciviousness, awe and plain ol’ dirty thoughts. For that, you need a lady with some flesh on her bones. And I know just where to find one.

While all eyes have been on Hollywood’s anorexic angels, the world of indie rock has been undergoing some ch-ch-ch-ch-changes. When women wanting to make it in the mainstream will swiftly be told to slim down, nobody is paying any attention to the margins, which means that if you sneak a peek at any one of the many all-girl bands out there on the indie circuit, I guarantee there will be at least one pudgy little sauce-pot (UK size 14 or larger) in the band. And what a sight for sore eyes they are.

The cute fat girls of indie rock aren’t skulking and hiding: George from the Schla La Las, Delia from Manic Cough (recently seen modelling for Vice magazine), Titania from Tits of Death, Heathy Lee Roth of Gravy Train!!!! and the sassy guitarist Guri of the Priscillas. The look is bold and flaunting: halterneck dresses cut from 1950s patterns, accessorised with flicky scarves and white guitars (Schla La Las); bodacious thighs, over-the-knee boots, miniskirts and a cheeky little strip of knickers peeking from behind the bass (Tits of Death); glittery pink hot pants, boob tubes, giant fishnets and sarcastic aerobics-style dance moves (Gravy Train!!!!). And the queen of all the fat girls, of course, is Beth Ditto of Gossip, voted No 1 on the NME’s Cool List last year, the first woman to hold that coveted title.

Ditto is not about shame and shapewear; quite the opposite. “I’m not overweight,” she told an American magazine last year. “I’m fat, I have rolls, and I don’t care.” Her style is a thousand miles away from the dark colours, long, loose sleeves and vertical stripes that the robust of flesh are advised to use to disguise their body shape. Instead, she seeks to accentuate. She flashes her flesh as much as possible, stripping down to T-shirt and knickers at gigs and appearing on the cover of the lesbian magazine On Our Backs peering cutely over one shoulder, dressed only in bracelets, tattoos, big lace-trimmed pants and the sauciest expression you ever did see.

HOW CURVY GIRLS STAY LOOKING SWELL

Delia from Manic Cough “More is definitely more when it comes to being on stage. That applies to make-up, too. I love Rimmel liquid eyeliner, as it looks really dramatic; Maybelline mascara is cheap and effective; and I have an electric-blue eye shadow by Nina Ricci that almost glows. It looks great on stage.”

George from the Schla La Las “I don’t use anticellulite products. I don’t get my thighs out enough to worry about it. But I never leave the house without mascara, and I absolutely love the Bad Gal mascara by Benefit. Chanel Rouge Noir nail polish is sexy, and YSL Touche Eclat is perfect for concealing a multitude of sins after a heavy night of gigging.”

Guri from the Priscillas “I’m a size 16, and I’m comfortable with my body shape. I like being voluptuous. Palmer’s Cocoa Butter Formula moisturiser is brilliant. I use it all over my body. Clinique Moisture On-Call is great for keeping my face moisturised. For hair, my main tip is to use a hell of a lot of peroxide, set it in curlers and backcomb it.”

Titania from Tits of Death “Drink lots of water to ensure you keep your skin clear. I always use a body brush or a loofah to buff my skin, and any kind of exfoliator I can get my hands on. I just bought something called Fat Girl Slim by Bliss, which is really good, although I am dubious that anything you apply to your skin can help to bust fat.”

Kelly Osbourne Reportedly uses Skeyndor Crystal White treatments, such as the Intensive Lightening Precision Cream, to keep her china-doll complexion. Read the full article…

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